On Fighting

Any time someone is having a hard time, people always tell you to keep on fighting. This is especially common in dealing with adversity with regards to depression. People try and tell you to buck up, soldier on, and keep on keeping on (whatever the hell that means). 

What they fail to recognize is that people with depression HAVE been soldiering on. They have been fighting themselves every second of every. single. damn. minute. Depending on the severity, every word the hammer out on a keyboard, email they respond to, or time they open their eyes in the morning is a small victory that merits nothing short of a parade. But they don't ask for that because they know it is their own personal demons that they fight, and that they hardly need to fight an outside world that has a hard time sympathizing with a stubbed toe, let alone mental anguish. 

It is a quiet war happening in your office, school, favorite restaurant, church, and anaerobic basket weaving society. Someone there is dealing with it. 

What should you do when dealing with someone else who is depressed? That depends on the person and their level of suffering. And yes, I mean SUFFERING. Agony. All those fun words we like to throw around every time we are a little gassy after a burrito, but actually have real meanings. 

Some guide lines: 

1. Remember that they ARE NOT SAD! 

   People who are depressed are tired, weary, in pain. Sadness is a symptom, not a cause. It is the difference between the weather and the climate. Local weather trends are symptomatic of over all climate patterns, but are not a freak storm does not a climate make. Which brings me to point number...

2. Sometimes, people who are depressed, can seem happy and normal most of the time. 

  That is why some people are surprised when they find out someone is depressed. Never tell them they  were so happy yesterday, today, earlier, all the time.' They know how happy they have been. Depression is an intimate and vulnerable state. Many people who suffer from it have very happy looking defense mechanisms. It is to keep people from saying a lot of the things on this list and brings us to..

3. When they ask for space, give it. 

  Like I said, depression is an intimate and vulnerable state to find yourself in. If someone is depressed and they ask you for space/time/distance/silence, give it. It can take a few minutes to clear out the fog that depression puts in your head and severely skews your emotional responses. This means that when you push people, they can feel trapped, cornered and respond very.. poorly. This can range from open hostility and rage, to an enforced silence that could be permanent (towards you) if you are not careful. 

IMPORTANT: If someone with depression asks you for space, DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU BY TAKING IT PERSONALLY. Of all the terrible things you can do, this can make things spiral out of control the fastest. 

I will have more on how to deal with depressed people later, but these three things can be damned hard on their own. Try them out and see what you think.

Catch up!

So, I have been sick the last week with a strange and undefined allergic reaction to... something. So I have been out of the loop.

But what a week it has been!

Elections are over, so I think we can all breathe a little easier knowing we are not going to be choking on election fumes for another three years. Obama won, which, while I am unsure as to if this is a good thing, it is a hell of a lot better than McCain. Especially with the off chance McCain bites it while in office and we were to be left holding the bag with Sarah Palin.

That woman embodies everything I hate about the current incarnation of the Republican party.

But enough! It is over, done with! Now there is only the future to watch. While some will complain about Obama's 'socialist' behavior, he is still conservative by most measures. What I hope to see him accomplish is to tear loose the reins of power in this country from the vultures who have forgotten We the People. That is change I can believe in, and if he can accomplish it, then Mr. Barack Obama will forever live the hearts and mind of this nation.

Now, Prop 8 and the other pieces of horse shit flung onto ballots around this country is another story altogether.
People, this is the year 2008. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that people being gay doesn't hurt you at all. Marriage is an archaic word and practice that really has no place in government what so ever. It should be between you, your spouse, and your various gods. You can't really say that your god did it first (unless you are some ancient people with some evidence on hand) since familial unions have been around for a long time. Just look at how tribal relations work.

So, for fuck's sake people, give it a rest. The only difference between you and a gay person is who you want to go to bed with. The only reason you are up in arms over this is because of a two thousand year old book that some people believe in and others don't. This isn't a christian nation, never has been and hopefully never will be. It should be a nation of freedom, where you can be what ever the hell you want and no one can tell you otherwise, provided it doesn't hurt someone.

Stop letting your book get in the way of treating your fellow man with respect and love. The world needs all the love it can get right now, so telling people that their love is wrong kind of defeats the purpose.