Chasing the Dragon of Eden

When I was a young, I went to church. Like most middle income American families, Sunday was an affair as regular as clockwork.
1.Get up early
2.Put on 'church clothes'
3.Go to Sunday school (little of which I remember outside of cookies)
4.Congregation/Sermon
5.Stand around while old people talk
6.FOOD

Somewhere along the line, I got really caught up in the whole affair. They had me in there, hook line and sinker. Hell, I was a member of the Royal Ambassadors. (Kinda like hella religious boy scouts, instead of just kinda religious.) I went to Vacation Bible School, and even to some summer camp that was just the bees knees and something to look forward other than catching up on reading over the tedious break.

I lived for this. I lived to try and be what I thought the Bible said I should be. I wanted everyone to do the same. I was excited when my parents gave me my very own personalized Bible for Christmas one year.

Then we moved. I was in the sixth grade, and we didn't just leave my neighborhood, or the city. We shipped out of state. Gone were the foundations of my life that I had built on for so many years.

My parents jumped around from church to church, but they never seemed to stick any where, and eventually we stopped going while we were in Austin. When we moved to Houston, more wandering but never settling.

It was during this time of exposure to the secular world, with no real religion in my life, the idea of any kind of deity took a back seat to my reading about epics and learning about history and science.

Man, science. It blew me away when I was first introduced to the method and really GOT it. The teacher honestly and whole heartedly cared about his subject, and I felt something awaken in me. A sleeping dragon woke, and it was more fantastic than any story I had read up to that point.
This dragon was voracious and insatiable. I had to KNOW things. How they worked, why they worked, what drove them. It burned through books and devoured journals and articles. It continued on like this, until my sophomore year of high school, when I changed schools.

I hung out with a group of people while there that were either into New Age nonsense, or devoutly Christian. Still just barely standing on my critical thinking legs and still in awe at the incredible vastness of the universe and I bought a lot of what they said hook, line, and sinker. I was drawn back into Christianity fast and hard. But even caught up in the fervent torrent of worship a small voice in my mind continued to doubt. It continued to question what I had been pulled back into. I had a habit of ignoring the answers, especially when they contradicted what I believed. But it got harder and harder to do so as time went on.

Especially one morning early in my second semester of that year.
An answer appeared. It wasn't gradual. It wasn't slow. It wasn't even nice. It came down on me like a ton of bricks and knocked me senseless.

I no longer believed that god existed.

A new dragon had reared its head. This one ancient, and from an age long past. I could not abide that this had happened, that I had become so skeptical. So I started tagging along to church with my friends in the hopes of easing this trouble in my mind as the two dragons fought for supremacy.

At first I tried to reconcile the two. I thought that they could exist together and that there was no problem. I would just go to church and reacquaint myself with god.
I prayed. I sang. I read. I talked with the minister about what was going on.

But the dragons never slept. One was always there, reminding me that nothing I was being told could be proven, and much of it contradicted what I knew to be true.
I prayed on, listening to the biblical teaching that god guides us when we call on him.

Finally, after so long, I explained it once again to my minister and he said. "Jarrad, you are trying to get something from god, but that's not the way it works. You must not be selfish. Instead, open your heart to Jesus Christ, and you will find peace. You must be honest and humble."

So I did. That night after everyone had gone to bed, I sat up to be alone with my thoughts and god. I closed my eyes, and prayed. I asked for forgiveness for my foolishness, and that instead of talking, I should have been listening and that I was ready to be the man I was called to be. That I gave myself willingly to serve god and that I opened myself up to him and his message of love and grace.

All I heard was the echo in my own mind. Not a literal one, but just an empty feeling as if I had been talking to the air except worse. At least the air had substance.
The bottom dropped out of my stomach, and I sunk with it, trying to implode on this hollow emptiness.

The dragons stirred once more. The Dragon of Eden, who I so much wanted to believe in because of the promise of life everlasting, guidance, and protection. But the dragon who I had been trying so hard to suppress, the one who knew how to find REAL, tangible answers. It could find things that I could touch, taste, and see their effect on the world around me. It promised me no comfort except that double edged blade of understanding.

While I just lay there, feeling lost and empty, these two notions raged on in my head. I was powerless to stop them, as my mind seemed out of control and in the grip of directionless emotion.

Then, it hit me. The reality of what I had thought. That this was the key to reality. I understood what I saw for the first time. There were no gods hiding in the wings, making magic and shooting rainbows and happiness.

The reason the world looked so harsh was because I compared it to a fiction. The fiction of perfection. This notion that I was not good enough, that the world was falling apart, all stemmed from this idea in my head that there was something better.

There wasn't. This was it. I had to make the best of my life under my own power. The wonders of the world blossomed before me. The wonders of the solar system, the beauty of the cell, all here just because. No reason, just IS. It was beauty manifest.

But a cold sunk in as well. If there was no god, who was there to guide my hand towards good? Why should I even be good? This passed quickly as I realized that I guided my hand, and that every action was my responsibility.

What need have I of gods or devils when both powers lay within myself?

As one image of heaven faded, and with it its totalitarian lord, a new one replaced it. In my young mind was planted a seed. A picture of a world undivided by petty tribal notions of angry deities. A world where we were free to love, and play, and help each other not because it was ordained, but because it was right.

The dragon of reason stopped fighting the phantom of Eden. There was nothing there to combat. No substance. Just empty promises and ancient folk tales. A shadow of the once ominous creature that had ruled over me.

Today I have grown, and with each piece of new knowledge the beauty and potential of our species and the planet we inhabit grows. The flames of reason burn brightly and magnificently.

I do not know if a god exists, and as those around me are fond of saying, yes, when I die I might just find out. But as it stands now, no matter the cost, I stand by my decisions. It becomes more and more apparent as time goes on that we must stop chasing phantom dragons. We must stop longing for a world beyond this one, and instead fight to make this life the best we can. If there is a god, and it has a plan (as many are quick to claim) then let it work, and if there is not, then we will die knowing we did the best we could under the circumstances. Either way we must cast off these shackles to our thought. Do away with the blinders that close our eyes to the beauty in THIS world.
Only then can we be free to explore our potential, be truly equal, to look on our fellow man as brother instead of enemy.

Then, when that is in our grasp, will the lovely, intricate, ever changing, delicate universe we live in open up to us.

Then we will see with unclouded eyes what we are.

I do not say this in an attempt to goad people into taking away religion. I say this only because it is the way I see it.

That is why I am an atheist.

Yule Tide Swag Day

So, I have a joke.

A Catholic, an atheist, and a Muslim sit down in front of a Christmas tree. Suddenly, the Baptist busts into the room and says:

"Happy Yule Tide Swag Day!"

OK, so it really wasn't a joke, it just sets up like one.

In all seriousness though, what do you do when the holiday season rolls around and you have friends from so many walks of life? Do you exclude them? Do you truck on and hope for the best?

No, because that is foolish. This holiday is supposed to be about being together, and about peace. Also, presents. Giving lots and lots of presents.

Thus I proposed a year or so ago that we switch out the name, toss on a new label, and bingo! All inclusive holiday that can mean whatever you want it to. No more having to list 60 different holidays that all land in or around the end of December, no more "war on Christmas".

Now, you might ask, what is the point if it isn't celebrating (insert religious reason here)?
Well, here are a few starters for you:
1. You are alive. (Good going by the way, its a rough world out there)
2. You have an excuse to gorge on an insane amount of whatever tickles your fancy. Why have a turkey, ham, or goose when you could have Basalmic battered fish? (or nachos, a personal favorite)
3. All those small things that you forgot to sweat over, but ended up working out in the end.

The list goes on. If you can't find a single reason to celebrate, then you are probably one unobservant individual. Even when things are awful, they could always get worse.

Thats what YTSD is all about. It is about stepping back, taking a breather, and not taking yourself too seriously. It is a time to put all of the bullshit aside and toss the noisy dog on the other side of the fence a new ball or treat.


If that isn't worth celebrating, then I don't know what is.

Heathens!

IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!

The Gnome is a diligent servitor in the court of the Hippo of the Fallen, exacting her will that all corpses should be disposed of, lest move in with their still living relatives and become a bore who sits about whining about dead rights and how cold it is.

But these people don't even believe Gnomes are real! GNOMES! Angels, demons, gods, and souls are real, but not Gnomes? What a line to draw!

Crazy people!

In this day and age, knowledge is literally a mouse click away. You just have to know what to look for and how to look for it. Many search engines have popped up to help us along in that respect. Hell, Google even has its own verb.

So, when someone comes to my attention that is absolutely bug fuck crazy AND uses the internet on a regular basis, I have to question:

How can people be ignorant in today's connected society.

Take for example this loon. (I know, I know, logical fallacy, ad hominem blah blah. I'll get to proving it in a moment.) She is constantly posting things she has 'googled' and found confirmation for.
So, lets start off with the first in the "WTF is wrong with these people" category of posts.

This lady suffers from what is commonly referred to as 'confirmation bias'.
As summary is that confirmation bias is looking only at results to back your point, and ignoring or disregarding results that counter your frame work.

Take for example her constant discussion of 'natural' cures to common maladies. Or, her damned constant evocation of her deity in order to justify her points without bringing to the table any evidence of her argument.

For example, her discussion of the so called gay agenda. So far, my 'googled' results have only come up with crazy right wing websites discussing some secret cabal of well dressed individuals who are organized by the devil himself and out to eat/rape/sacrifice children and bring about the downfall of mankind. All of the other websites just seem to express a general desire to not feel persecuted for who they are attracted to.

Hmm, one of these seems pretty reasonable, and the other COMPLETLY FUCKING STUPID.

She mentions that gay people are 'beyond redemption' in her ancient tome of wacky magic. Well, I would like to present evidence in the form of her blog that she may be beyond redemption for her intolerant, inane, uneducated screeds against her fellow human beings. Logic is beyond her scope of understanding, and she is raising a 'quiverful' family inside of this insanity.

It makes it that much worse that the children will never escape the oppresive, unjustified boot heel of religion. Reason dies a small death with each child not free to wonder and explore the universe without the confines of bronze age mysticism.

Texaaaaans assemble!

So the anti-science brigade is trying to douse the fire of knowledge for our students here in Texas, and it is up to the people to stop it.

But, before you act, make sure you gather the facts. Start with information about Don McLeroy, the man in charge of the Texas Board of Education and supporter of Intelligent Design creationism. The BoE is soon going to vote on the new science standards that will affect not only children in this state, but nation wide.

How you say? Easy. Texas is one of the largest purchasers of textbooks nationwide, and therefore publishers look to what we are buying in the way of educational material before they take it to other states. If we allow IDiocy into classrooms, then textbooks with accurate and relevant information will be passed over in favor for puffy, soft fairy tales dressed in lab coats.

This is a matter that is endlessly frustrating for me personally, but as I am not a parent my voice carries less weight than those whose children are at stake.

This ID group is sneaky, subtle, and underhanded in their dealings with public education and are trying to toss religious belief in the back door of our classrooms and hope no one notices.

Let your voices be heard. Organize and fight this kind of intellectual sabotage so that perhaps Texas can lose the stereotype of backwards, ignorant, tree dwellers who do nothing other than shoot things and watch NASCAR.

There are enough reasonable people in this state to have us become an intelligent oasis in a sea of madness, so go and take back the Lone Star State.

What is the difference?

Philosophy and religion have often been viewed in the same light despite their obvious differences.

How obvious? Well... lets find out. Perhaps they are not as obvious as one initially thinks.

First, lets turn to the definition of the words themselves. For that, let us turn to our old friend Merriam-Webster.

Philosophy:

1 a (1): all learning exclusive of technical precepts and practical arts (2): the sciences and liberal arts exclusive of medicine, law, and theology philosophy> (3): the 4-year college course of a major seminary b (1)archaic : physical science (2): ethics c: a discipline comprising as its core logic, aesthetics, ethics, metaphysics, and epistemology2 a: pursuit of wisdom b: a search for a general understanding of values and reality by chiefly speculative rather than observational means c: an analysis of the grounds of and concepts expressing fundamental beliefs3 a: a system of philosophical concepts b: a theory underlying or regarding a sphere of activity or thought philosophy of war>4 a: the most basic beliefs, concepts, and attitudes of an individual or group b: calmness of temper and judgment befitting a philosopher

Phew, what a mouthful. Oh well, we can pare that down in a moment into something more useful.

But first, religion

Religion

1 a: the state of a religious religion> b (1): the service and worship of God or the supernatural (2): commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance2: a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices3archaic : scrupulous conformity : conscientiousness4: a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith

Again, we can pair this down to something more useful.

After reading over both of these definitions, I think that a functional summary of philosophy would be contained in definition 1 a(1) and 2 a. For religion I think that 1b(1) and 4 will sum up the majority of what people think of when they think of religion.

Right off the bat philosophy and religion diverge in that religion focuses on belief and the supernatural, where as philosophy is focused more on the pursuit of knowledge in either a technical or empirical manner.

This makes sense when put into the context of the origins of the two. The early philosophers are what we base our education systems on. They made observations and then contested one another through jousts of logic until one philosopher conceded their point on the grounds that the other one had more proof. This is where we get the beginnings our the scientific method as well as a lot of our Western abstraction.

Religion, on the other hand, deals more with the intangible and the unprovable. It relies on faith for its explanations and less on the observable or testable.

So why do so many say they are interchangeable?

I think that it boils down to that both are a system of thought centered on acquiring explanations in regard to the world we live in. Each has steps and questions that can be asked.

But once again we come to a divide. One, religion, starts with the answer and then people ask questions of that and observe the outcomes. Philosophy, and by proxy it derivatives, start with the observations and then ask questions from that to see what answers they can come with to explain the original observations.

So, the next time you find yourself pondering this scenario or faced with it directly, hopefully my discussion of it will help in some way. If not, then by all means seek elsewhere, for this is an age where many answers and thoughts lay at the tips of your fingers.