Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Agency Hunt and Letting Go

There are many, many steps on the road to becoming an author. It involves patience, dedication, and a rather thick skin.

I say this because I am about to take the next, most dreaded step.

Agent hunting.

We all done shuddering now? Good.

In all of my time, few things have caused me this much tension and stress, but at the same time few things have left me with such a sense of excitement.

But with a third draft of a manuscript, the first couple chapters of another work, and a compilation of short stories in the pipeline I figured it was time to get off my lazy ass and get something done and take the steps to putting things into print.

It is not the fear of judgment or rejection that has stayed my hand this long. Nay, it is the fact that once it sits in its new shiny dust jacket and its new spot on the shelf, then it is no longer my private joy, but one I must now share with the world.

It is simultaneously heart breaking and beautiful and the only thing I can think to compare it to right now is of a mother letting go of their child's hand on that first day of school, or a father's hug to that same child on the day they graduate and enter into the world.

Once those steps are taken, the baby you have nurtured is off to make its own decisions and in turn have opinions formed about them.

A pure moment for pride and sorrow to grip one's heart and give one pause where action is needed.

Thus I address the envelope and once more read over its contents with a heavy heart. The long weeks of waiting are all that lie ahead as the children of my mind try find their way in this world.

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