What are you doing?

I ran into one of my old professors today and like many people who have not seen each other in a while we asked one another what we were up to.

I asked him about what he was teaching, and he cut that off and asked me point blank:

"Forget about that though. What are you doing?"

It was right about then that two thoughts came into my head. One was a screaming shallow noise machine designed to mask its quiet and powerful partner. This first thought gave all of the normal excuses:

"Looking for work."

"Working on my writing/painting/underwater basket weaving."

"Taking care of the puppy."

All of them true but useless and unspecific.

The other thought that was hiding right behind them was far more terrifying. It whispered its quiet poison into my mind:

"nothing"

It was then that Nietzsche's abyss stared back into me for it was also the moment that I realized I had been staring into it ever since I had lost my job. Or, more ominously, longer still.

Like all good questions it opened up into many more, but only two really mattered in this transcendental 'oh shit' moment: "Why?" and "What are you going to do about it?"

At this current time I don't know the answer to either one.

Conveniently by the time I got home I had come down with one of those psyche shattering migraines I am prone to and as such had a great excuse for lying curled in the fetal position in my bed. I spent the rest of my day running on automatic as my mind raced through oblivion and arrived at nowhere.

It was definitely one of those damn days.

The Phoenix and the Hearth

It has been a long damned time since I sat down here in order to get my thoughts together. I said I would restart this blog when I had the mental resources to deal with it, but in hindsight that is probably the opposite of what I should have done. Our brains are far more resilient than we give them credit for, and it is exactly when we cannot think that we should the most.

So, to old business. When last we parted I was unemployed with few prospects on the horizon, cast out into a college town with a degree in literature and mounting medical costs. But a month or so later I was employed at the strangest job I have ever had. It is one of those peculiar aspects of life that makes it so much fun, all the while being the most frustrating, insane, and terminal condition one can have. In the course of a year, I have gone from a minimum wage nobody to overseeing the career (and English proficiency) of Chinese airline pilots.

If you have never spent a great deal of time with a large group of people from another country and were left to sink or swim among them, DO SO. It is a very character building endeavor. Also work around pilots, they are subtly insane lot that really protracts the general insanity of the human race.

I also recommend that you spend a period of time stewing in your own you-ness, which sounds very gross when I write it but its out there now so I am sticking with it. Not enough people do this and it is troubling. I am not recommending joining your local yogi's breathing sessions or gallivanting through the countryside in some misguided attempt to "rediscover your roots". Those are stupid and, worse yet, tired old tropes foisted upon us from on high.

What I mean is, turn off the light and look in the mirror. I mean really look. Let your eyes adjust, and let whatever shows up, show up. Author's Disclaimer: Do not do this if you are afraid of any one of the following: the dark, mirrors, or (like myself) your own visage. We here at Jarrad Corp are not responsible for any damages to lights, mirrors, or persons. But in all seriousness, it has done me a lot of good. Teaching language has forced me to stop and draw connections to myself and the tiny little world I occupy. It seems like a Herculean task at first, but you will find that these connections to the world are all that really keep you from being cast adrift when things go wrong. Otherwise, the few anchors you do have just get tangled beneath and pier and drown you (much like this metaphor).

So, in short, sorry I am back but there is damned little that can be done about it. Buckle in and lets talk.

Read until your Irony Meter detonates.

I remember back when I was not a boy scout. It was the whole of my twenty four years of life from the outside looking in and being vaguely envious of those jerks and their camping trips. But the thing that almost made me take the plunge was the idea of merit badges.

The whole concept appeals to me to this day. Reward and recognition for learning a new skill? Hot damn.

Their compliment, the Girl Scouts, do basically the same thing except for chicks since both groups have genital based discrimination policies. (There are some skills I am sure they do not want to issue merit badges for.)

So I was surprised when I read this article about a girl being given the highest honor available for teaching children about creationism, acquiring a creationist library for her church, and building a model of Noah's ark.
Now, on the surface these seem nice. Working with kids and helping your church are community service, building a model of some sort is some great arts and crafts, and talking about creationism is creative story telling. (Which if they offer a badge for story telling I am so kicking myself for not joining the scouts way back when.)

The part that had me laughing was the name of her project. Alternate Reality. I shit you not. I can only imagine this statement being delivered with a straight face, followed by beaming pride and possibly a single tear rolling down her cheek.

Which brings to light, if that is what she believes her teachings and statements are, then WHY IS SHE TEACHING THEM TO CHILDREN.
According to dictionary.com:
Alternate ( awl-ter-neyt)

1.	to interchange repeatedly and regularly with one another in time or place; rotate (usually fol. by with): Day alternates with night.

2.	to change back and forth between conditions, states, actions, etc.: He alternates between hope and despair.

3.	to take turns: My sister and I alternated in doing the dishes.

4.	Electricity. to reverse direction or sign periodically.

5.	Linguistics. to occur as a variant in alternation with another form.

Reality (ree-al-i-tee)

1.	the state or quality of being real.

2.	resemblance to what is real.

3.	a real thing or fact.

4.	real things, facts, or events taken as a whole; state of affairs: the reality of the business world; vacationing to escape reality.

5.	Philosophy. a. something that exists independently of ideas concerning it. b. something that exists independently of all other things and from which all other things derive.

6.	something that is real.

7.	something that constitutes a real or actual thing, as distinguished from something that is merely apparent.

This alone should bring to light that she is deriving something other than the reality we all live in and teaching it to small children. That is so many levels of not right that I don't know why it could, or would be honored in the slightest.

Then again, maybe I am being a bit harsh. I don't have all the details, so it may be a different situation all together (if so let me know). But based on what is here, I think my envy for the scouts has waned just a tad.

Picking around the rubble.

Sometimes, when life hands you lemons, they are actually hand grenades painted yellow to throw you off your guard.

How, as aspiring writers, are we to avoid this so that we can get on with our work?

We don't, because if it was that damned easy there would be no reason to write about it.

After finishing my first novel, I came to the realization that in order to progress in life I was going to have to don the mantle of minor miracle worker. This mantle is one part ditch digger, three parts pyramid brick layer, and six parts draft horse. I still have on my plate (I will get a bit personal here, so as to provide context): a troubling financial future, impending graduation (if I can get my act together), ailing family members, and trouble at home. This situation is hardly unique, but it is difficult, emotionally involved, energy and resource draining, and somewhere in it all time and energy must be mustered to write.

The only solution I have found is time management. That is it. No magic words, no fairies in bottles.
Just plain old fashioned time management. It helps, I am terrible at it, but it helps.

So, if you find yourself swamped, but have a burning desire to create, do not despair. Do not sacrifice what is important to you for something else. Sit down, prioritize, plan out a schedule and most of all STICK TO THE DAMN THING. (as much as possible)

I have more thoughts on this subject, but for a later time. Just got off work and am a bit tired.
Good luck.

Um... is this thing on?

Yeah? Good.

There has been something that has been bothering me the last few days (years) and I finally drug it kicking and screaming out into public.

Why the fuck do we have ignorant people in this day and age that are using the internet? If you are using Firefox (and I assume IE and others have something comparable) there is literally a box with a capitol G in it for you to type something into and be overwhelmed with information on any given topic!

With this the case, why do we continue to see, day after day, in forum after forum, and blog after blog the same stupid old wives tales, myths, and lies propagated. It is as if... though hard to believe... people are actually remaining ignorant ON PURPOSE.

(Insert a roll of thunder and lightning searing across the black ether of night.)

Is this some sort of conspiracy? A plague that causes someone to be unable to see results or search engines? Perhaps some allergen that makes you unable to cross reference or verify claims? Or, perhaps the most nefarious, someone has tricked you into thinking you don't need to?

What exactly am I talking about? Such myths as: There being no scientific basis for evolution, that people choose to be homosexuals, that the Earth is not 4.5 billion years old give or take, or that all conflicting view points should be taught to children no matter their level of divorce from reality.

Don't worry though, there is a cure, and we can do it the hard way or the easy way.

Here is the easy way.

The hard way is actually digging through page after page of information, cross referencing materials, and actually checking for little nuggets of reality known as 'facts'.

Good luck out there in separating the wheat from the chaff. There are those in this world, believe it or not, who actually do not want to tell you the truth.