What are you doing?

I ran into one of my old professors today and like many people who have not seen each other in a while we asked one another what we were up to.

I asked him about what he was teaching, and he cut that off and asked me point blank:

"Forget about that though. What are you doing?"

It was right about then that two thoughts came into my head. One was a screaming shallow noise machine designed to mask its quiet and powerful partner. This first thought gave all of the normal excuses:

"Looking for work."

"Working on my writing/painting/underwater basket weaving."

"Taking care of the puppy."

All of them true but useless and unspecific.

The other thought that was hiding right behind them was far more terrifying. It whispered its quiet poison into my mind:

"nothing"

It was then that Nietzsche's abyss stared back into me for it was also the moment that I realized I had been staring into it ever since I had lost my job. Or, more ominously, longer still.

Like all good questions it opened up into many more, but only two really mattered in this transcendental 'oh shit' moment: "Why?" and "What are you going to do about it?"

At this current time I don't know the answer to either one.

Conveniently by the time I got home I had come down with one of those psyche shattering migraines I am prone to and as such had a great excuse for lying curled in the fetal position in my bed. I spent the rest of my day running on automatic as my mind raced through oblivion and arrived at nowhere.

It was definitely one of those damn days.

Writing Projects.

Communication is going to be intermittent as I switch gears and start working on some new contract work with Reaper Miniatures.

My posting schedule will remain unchanged, as it is currently dictated by whether or not I remember to wake up in the morning, followed promptly by me remembering that I have a blog.

So, that being said, everyone go out and learn to play Warlord so that you can buy the new book I am working on when it comes out.

Yes, you will be graded, and no there is no extra credit.

The Fear of Rejection

Over the course of writing my first novel, I learned one major thing about myself and other writers.

When the final chapter closes and it is time to sell the damned thing, we balk out of fear.

The question is asked "what if they don't like it?" I know I asked it over and over again as I wrote and rewrote the letter.

Sending out a query letter was a trying and psychologically daunting task, but in the end the letter went out and the world didn't end.

This weekend, I received my first official rejection letter for agent representation, and believe it or not it didn't hurt. I was left feeling a little ambivalent and honestly a little excited. (which truth be told led to me feeling really confused.)

I had taken my first steps towards publication, and met my first hurdle. Like the deer that stumbles into a clearing where you are having a picnic, I stared at the letter in astonishment. I read the little half page over and over, making sure it was real and didn't move around on me when I looked away.

I encourage all writers to send out a query, especially if it is your first work. Like all experience, it is best acquired while young in the field.

The rejection is not something to fear, but to embrace. Each time your work is dismissed by someone, let it build and excitement that will burst when someone finally says 'yes'. Don't fret over one person's opinion. Agents and publishers have tastes as fickle and different as the people who will be reading your book should it see shelves, so let a rejection serve a double purpose to prepare you for when someday someone comes to you and says "I don't like your work."

"Thats OK," I would say, "not everyone does."

How to finish a novel.

In this post I will discuss the step by step process of writing a finished novel. It is a long, dusty road, so stick with me.

First, preparation. Only one step here, and that is have an idea of what you want to write.

Next, writing it. This is where the long list comes in.

1. Sit in your chair and write your damned story.

OK, I guess that was rather short after all. In all seriousness though that is the way to finish a novel. Suck it up and stick your ass in a chair until your eyes hurt and your brain is a wheezing wreck. Then, order a pizza, indulge a hobby or vice, and get back in the trenches.

This is seriously the hardest part of finishing anything. Let that simmer for a while as National Novel Writing Month looms before us.

Good luck.